And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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