If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
