I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
