can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
