i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
