When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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