dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
