he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
only you would photoshop your dick
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
