i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
