was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
