Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
