It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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