Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How's work?
Spinning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
