i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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