Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize