So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
