As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
