We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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