I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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