someone get that fucking seahorse.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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