So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
