She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
