there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
