Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
