I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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