I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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