And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
