Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize