i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
