after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
