She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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