i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
