Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
