I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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