If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
