you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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