see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im part way to drunk.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize