omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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