Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I am puke
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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