worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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