i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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