Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm both gender and math confused
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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