If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
