But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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