is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
