We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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