I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
