he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
