brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
