Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
