Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
