the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
