You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
