Dual....:-)
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize