Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
