tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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