I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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