It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Walk of Shame today included voting.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She needs sedatives and a leash
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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