Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
