Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
