I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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