We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
