I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
