Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
