I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
