susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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